Monday, April 30, 2012

She chose Edward and his cold, moody mysterious ways over Jacob. She chose immortality. Jacob Black, so warm and savage, a thing of the woods. And Jacob loved. . . Renesmee. But Bella had his love first.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Does a Bear Crap in the Forest?

From the warped mind of Liesa Swejkoski
(2009)

Philosopher: If no one is in the forest to hear it fart, does it really make noise?
Liberal: Use taxpayer money to buy it some toilet paper.
Republican: Looks like it's thriving. Get it off the endangered species list ASAP.
Libertarian: Let it crap where it wants and leave it alone.
Russian Communist: Shoot its family and capture it. Make it dance in circus !!!
Buddhist: Let it be.
Beatles: Let it be.
Theodore Roosevelt: Awe, he's cute !!! (Puts gun down, eats sandwich.)
Green Party: Do we count bears crapping in our greenhouse emissions study???
Housewife: Damn bear !!! That's another mess I have to clean up!
Peta: It is suffering! Man made it crap in the forest ! It is living there in fear for its safety!
Child: Bears go potty in the zoo.
Chicago Bears fan: Crapping in the forest? He's wasting time! Get a helmet on him!!!
Perez Hilton and TMZ: Can you get this on today's show?
Boy Scout: I did that too, when we were camping !
Jamie Lee Curtis: That bear ate my Activia Yogurt !!!
Facebook User #1: Think I'll add him as a friend !!!
Facebook User #2: Presses the like button.
Twitter User: Jst saw bear crp in woods
Bill Clinton: I never had relations with that... um hold on, are we talking about an animal?
Barak Obama: So, you ate a camper. Then you crapped. We can settle this over a beer.
Dog: Sniff, sniff!
Ted Nugent: There it was crapping, so I shot it and ate it.
Al Gore: Yes, they are crapping as they are perilously trapped on an ice-flow.
Sarah Palin: I can see polar bears crapping from my kitchen window !!!

A Sideshow Journey by Liesa Swejkoski

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