It was a long, cold, snowy weekend, a great time to catch up on shows I haven’t seen and books I haven’t read. I was also craving A. silly fun, and B. a warmer climate. For the silly element, imagine “rolling” one of the Beach Blanket Bingo (the Harvey Lembeck years) with Saturday Night Fever and a pinch of Dirty Dancing. There’s no better setting than sunny California. With that boiling pot of ingredients you get the motion picture that might have, arguably, started the whole Roller Derby craze: Skatetown USA, set in a Los Angeles roller rink.
“Skatetown USA!” some of you gasp, “that poorly written, goofy, pointless mess?!” Well, yes, but I’ve never seen it before. Not once – EVER-- before tonight. This review is forty-five years in the making— Well, what can I say. I couldn’t drive myself to the theater in 1979.
I’ve wanted to see this film for decades for many reasons. The soundtrack alone was only rivalled by Saturday Night Fever’s record breaking LP album. When I was a teen, Tiger Beat was the magazine all my friends raved over and Scott Baio was on A LOT of their covers. (Yes, Chachi is in this film.) Other notable performers were Ruth Buzzi, Ron Pallilo and Maureen McCormick (in an outfit that looked A LOT like the gown that Jessica Rabbit later wore). In fact, this show was meant to be a post Brady Bunch vehicle for McCormick, as well as exposure for other young performers wishing to start their careers.
For the moment, let’s just focus in on one: Patrick Swayze. In this, his film debut, Swayze portrays Ace, an angry skater with a chip on his shoulder. Did you know Mr. Swayze could skate? I did! Seven years later he was in the hockey movie Youngblood with Rob Lowe and another, at that time, unknown actor, Keanu Reeves. (Swayze and Reeves would later star in Point Break). Roller-skate, ice-skate, dance, act, sing -- what couldn’t Swayze do? His performance alone is worth watching this crazy slapstick mash of nonsense. I always thought that the reason fans (and non-fans) have never enjoyed this motion picture on DvD and digital media is because of the nightmare to secure music rights, but I might be wrong. In my research, it turns out that Patrick Swayze purchased all the film rights to this jambalaya of a movie and prevented its distribution. He was embarrassed by Skatetown USA. Yet his intense performance is more than noteworthy. It’s phenomenal. It’s seething. It’s sexy. I’ll even add that there is choreography that predates Dirty Dancing yet is nearly move-by-move identical in some scenes.
Then there’s the crazy situation usually not seen in 1970’s
flicks: an interracial couple! Flip Wilson plays two rolls: one as Harvey Ross,
the manager of the neon emblazoned rink/ comedy club -- and HIS OWN MOTHER! (Think
Wilson’s beloved Geraldine.) Yet here’s the unexpected part - Harvey’s daddy,
Jimmy Ross, is played by the late character actor Billy Barty, a little man
with more talent in his compact spirit than many other acting giants of the 20th
Century.
Watch for other cameos such as (possibly) Richard Simmons in
the opening credits in the conga line; and Dorothy Stratten… in a pizza line.
I was able to find a copy of Skatetown USA online through a
library archive. If after a reasonable search you still cannot find this motion
picture in its entirety, I will send you a safe link.
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