Monday, July 13, 2026

I'd Rather Have a Teddi On Top of Me Than a Bottle in Front of Me

     When I was searching for a service dog, I was specifically looking for a collie type. I have had collies all of my life with a couple other breeds here and there. Honestly, when l began this process, I did not know the difference between an emotional support animal, therapy dog or a service dog as defined in the USA where I live.              

     What I did know is I have diagnosed PTSD. Two of my doctors and two therapists gave me letters, basically prescriptions, for a service dog. The disorder mainly comes on in the evening.

     After not having any dogs for fifteen years, when I seriously looked for a service animal, I knew I wanted the most obedient dog, biddable, good natured, understands a variety of human words, quick to learn, compassionate and had to be good on a small farm, because I have other animals. HOWEVER, most collies are too big. I am a small disabled woman. I can't handle anything over 30 to 35 pounds if another animal attacked us. Yes, I imagined I'd have to pick up my dog if threatened, and/ or protect it with my own body, because service dogs are not trained to physically defend their handlers. I found the perfect dog in a half English Shepherd (collie type) and a Spaniel cross. Not the traditional German Shepherd, Lab or Golden Retriever, yet exactly meeting my needs. At the age of five months, I tested my potential dog's intelligence at the litters' home. The pup was alert, healthy and bright eyed, not fawning, maybe even a little aloof. Mind you, I've trained dogs, horses and cats in the past so I knew what to look for. I named the pup Teddi.

     As a potential service dog, I knew she MUST be held to a higher standard. A month after settling in, I took Teddi for basic obedience training. Yes, I am bragging and proud when I say that the trainer took me aside and remarked that my dog was a quick learner. Yes, she was teacher's pet in so many ways. While the other pups were goofing off, Teddi was helping our trainer demonstrate what the others needed to do. I knew I had a special dog. She went to more training, but some of it Teddi has improvised on her own. Teddi must stop me from having full blown anxiety attacks. I've harmed my husband in the past when I'm nearly asleep. Teddi can put her weight into me, look in my eyes and calm me. She is NEVER allowed in bed. Yet, one time she went “off script”. I was watching Cobra Kai with my husband last year. I gasped during a fight scene; not a panic attack. Teddi didn't know that. She leapt on the bed and held me down. After a few minutes I praised her.

     People have asked if a person can do her job. Well, maybe, but I might perceive a person landing on my body as a threat. I might think a real creep is getting in his feels, so, NO!!!!  A human cannot do her task. Additionally, I am losing vision in my right eye and have depth perception issues. Although Teddi isn't trained as a guide dog, if I go outside in the evening, I feel her leash and can tell if she is going up a curb or down into a pothole, and that helps me, too. 

     I've only had three guards, usually at shopping malls, question me. That's fair. I just answer their questions, within reason. The only people that doubted my need for a service dog and told me so were on my husband's side of the family. One, a sister-in-law, is the widow of a man that worked for Leader Dogs for the Blind in Rochester, Michigan. To her, the only legitimate service dogs are meant for visually impaired. I texted and talked to her. After Meeting Teddi for the first time recently, I hope that now she understands.

     Will I always need a service dog? I do not know. This I do know: at least I can sleep more peacefully. That was an issue for more than a decade. My motto is, "I'd rather have a Teddi on top of me than a bottle in front of me."




          Teddi, a sable and white medium-size dog on a dock after her first boat ride with the author - Maine, July 2026


 


Monday, June 8, 2026

The Adventures of Bill and George

 

                                The Adventures of Bill and George 

 

     Back in March, Michigan had severe floods. Major roads were wiped out; fish were swimming in parking lots and dams were in danger of bursting. For the first time, my crawlspace flooded. My family and I, in an act of teamwork and desperate determination, gathered as many journals and photographs as we could during the crisis. Sadly, a lot of furniture that my youngest daughter was storing for when she buys her own home was destroyed. In other words, we saved what we could and it wasn’t much. A lot of it fed a dumpster that we rented. For months now I’ve been sorting photographs, journals and mementoes. (The ones that didn’t get wet.)  I can’t keep it all, and now I have the opportunity to share even more stories from these rediscovered notebooks in my blog.  I feel compelled to, before another storm or flood ruins any more journals.

     Decades ago when I was in grade school, I loved listening to the tales the old folks used to tell. These relatives and friends were clear of mind and recounted the stories of their youth, the admonitions of their parents and grandparents, and other wise counsel as they sat, gathered at kitchen tables or in living rooms. I used to write it all down in journals and in spiral notebooks. I am so glad that I did! I miss those experiences and I am afraid the younger generations are being cheated of similar moments with the abundance of streaming, social media and cell phones taking the place of real conversations. Family gatherings or the simple act of sitting around a dinner table are the way things used to be taught and just one of the ways history, as well as tradition, were passed on.

     My father, David Owen, taught me how to plant trees and shrubs. He said to dig in a suitable spot, water the hole, place the roots in and pat the soil and also sometimes actually pound the earth with our boots. (I’d used my bare feet then, and I still do now! Somehow, I feel closer to Mother Earth when I take my shoes off.) My daddy cautioned me not to leave air pockets around the roots. We’d water just a little more (usually that meant I’d hold the hose in my tiny fists). Then he showed me how to do a little “dance ritual” around the tree, further patting the soil. Later I added a solemn invocation to the four directions of the earth: One to the east where the sun rises from, a second to the west where the wind and rain originate, third the north where the cold winter winds come from (may winter be gentle upon our trees) and lastly, the south, from where warmer temperatures return in spring. That is, I thought I’d added those supplications to the four winds. I learned recently that it is an indigenous prayer and that the “planting dance” is known to many Native Americans and First Nations People east of the Mississippi. I wonder if my daddy taught me that entreaty, as well as the dance, because it was hidden deep in my conscience. I know it was all passed down by some ancestor at some time from another ancestor at some other time, to another ancestor and so-on. My father passed away in 2007. I cannot ask him the particulars, but I do know my Cherokee ancestors had the Anglicized surnames of Silver and Walkingstick. Their Cherokee names were Olegineni U-Ta-Lv-Nu-Sti and her husband Tahnie Udalvnusti. They were both born in 1735 and both died in Bird Town in what is now Swain County, North Carolina. I can only speculate that each generation passed this planting dance down to their children all the way to me. It hurts when the younger people in my own family accuse me of culture appropriation when I want to pass these traditions down to my own grandchildren. It is my history. It is what I was taught, and it is what I do even now when I plant fruit trees.

     Everybody has a story. I have mine, my ancestors had theirs. Some stories are lost along the way.    

     I was told the adventures of two men in my ancestry: Bill and George. It was said that Bill, on my Parker side, was out hunting when he was a young man. It was a beautiful autumn day in North Carolina. The long walk and refreshing air made him weary, so he took a nap at the base of a tree. A sound sleeper, he later woke, but his eyes were blurry. He had a difficult time adjusting his vision and soon realized he was under a pile of leaves. He carefully dug his way out and wondered what in the world had buried him and for what reason. Old-Man-Curiosity had Bill by the heart so he climbed the tree and patiently waited. Later a mamma mountain lion came into view with her half-grown cub. The two large cats neared the pile of leaves. Bill could have shot one or both, but he saw no need to, and he wanted to observe a little longer. The lioness gave a signal, sort of a squeak, an indication to its youngster. The baby cat leapt onto the pile and dug with ferocity but there was no meal beneath. The disappointed mountain lions wasted little more time investigating where their dinner had gone and padded off. Bill realized that had he slept much longer, he’d have been eaten.

     My grandfather George Owen’s story was a thrilling one also and began one hot summer day in Georgia. Even in the woods, there was no respite. The humidity was oppressive. The man walked to a stream, stripped down and jumped into the cool water. He waded and swam for some time, then made his way to the riverbank where some roots provided a little overhanging shelter. George relaxed in the dark, damp, coolness. Not long after, he heard a rustling close by and saw a buck and a couple does tentatively walk to the stream. The buck somehow signaled his okay and the small herd dipped their heads in and drank. The animals also sought out the coolness of the water and eventually waded in. The stag came closer to the side of the bank where George rested, and soon, all he could see were spindly, brown legs at eye level. Closer and closer came the buck as he passed the sheltered spot where George held his breath and waited in stillness. The deer turned his haunches toward the bank. On a whim, George quickly grabbed onto the animal’s back legs. With a whoosh the startled stag leapt as best he could with George holding on for dear life! The man tightened his grip as imagined scenes of the large cervid potentially turning to gore him with dagger-like antlers flashed in his brain -- which by that time was being shook in his skull all while sharp pointed rear hooves kicked at his face. Within a few more bounds, George lost his grip and the herd fled the stream.

     Many years later, I asked the old folks about these stories. They could not remember which old uncle had nearly become the big cats’ chow. I asked my dad about Papa George grabbing the stag’s back legs. I recounted it word for word. He just shook his head in doubt. My dad told me that he didn’t believe his father, a very smart man, would have been that foolish. Daddy claimed he had never heard such a story.

     Tonight, I realized, we all know an Aunt Marie or an Uncle Raymond that did something of note. There might have been an old friend named Verna who was born in a barn. We say, “that was quite a story.”    We believe that at each family gathering, the tale will be told of how it was a cold night right after Christmas and Baby Verna was put in a tomato crate. Nobody will ever forget. Then decades later our kids say, “Mom says Raymond was quite a character!” yet they don’t quite remember why he was a character. Even later, our grandchildren ask, “Who was Raymond? Who was Marie? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of Verna.” Another generation passes and these people are barely names on a family chart, even if someone is doing family history.

     This summer as you gather, I urge you readers to tell your stories, write in your own journals, start your own blogs. It shouldn’t matter if nobody else outside of immediate family or your close friends reads any of it. Tell your story. Tell your parents’ stories. Recount the adventures of what it was like to go to a pajama party, ride a bike, go on a trip to your grandma’s house. Commit to write one day a week, or at the very least, one day a month. Set aside a couple hours or an evening to do one story at a time. Write that day and time on your calendar. Make it a ritual. Let it become a habit. Put down that remote. Set down your phone and stop zombie scrolling. I guarantee, the same silly reels will be waiting for you on TikTok and in the long run, you won’t really miss them. Don’t let your stories fade. Tell your true, authentic history before you are history.



Autumn Leap — created with Microsoft Copilot

Friday, May 29, 2026

★One Christian Woman’s View on the Outlander Series★

(I originally shared this entry during Outlander's first season. I took it down weeks later because I actually feared the judgment of some of my church-going friends. A couple years ago, one of them, who is in her seventies, told me that she and her very spiritually stalwart husband are big fans of Outlander. Since the show recently concluded, I will bravely repost it and it will stay on here.)

     Two years ago Pamela, a neighbor of mine, was excited to discover that I was a writer. She knew I was of Scots-Irish descent and that I like strong female lead characters in the books that I write, as well as those that I read. She asked me if I had time to read just one more book. I flatly told her that I didn’t have time. I had my own novels to complete. She insisted, and handed me a paperback. I sat in her living room and contemplated the thick blue book she’d reverently placed in my hands, an almost worshipful look in her eyes. I handed it back to her and said, "I can’t take your book, it must mean a lot to you." 

     "That’s quite all right," she insisted. "The author signed the entire series for me, in hardback! You can keep this copy."

     Then Pam began to tell me the tale of Claire Randall, an army nurse enjoying her first real vacation just after World War Two. She is on her second honeymoon with her beloved husband Frank, a man she knows very little about because their respective assignments with the British army had separated them shortly after their wedding. She and Frank are attempting to rekindle their love in Scotland, enjoying the countryside when Claire finds herself at a small version of Stonehenge. She is transported back two hundred years, but in her disorientation doesn’t realize the full impact of her journey. At first she thinks she’s found herself in the middle of a historical reenactment. 

     Claire thinks she sees Frank, but the man before her is actually a distant relative of his, serving in the army of King George. Clad in full red-coated malevolence, “Black Jack” Randall will take advantage of any situation. Usually Randall’s favorite prey is young men, but Claire is alone and he is a cruel, mean opportunist. He seizes Claire, about to have his way with the helpless time traveler, when a Scotsman takes her captive, in essence saving her. She later meets a wounded Scot named Jamie, a family member of the Clan MacKenzie. Before they take their journey to the MacKenzie Castle Leoch, Claire tends to Jamie’s bullet wound and resets his dislocated shoulder. She later becomes a healer to the people at the stark grey castle. (Thus begins an adventure that I later discovered contains eight books with more to come.) 

     Pamela spent at least a half hour telling me what I summed up in the synopsis above. She smiled, showed me her hardback copies signed by author Diana Gabaldon, then handed me the paperback once more.  ". . .and I hear that casting has begun to make a movie of the first book! Here, give Outlander a chance." Her dogs were panting. It was a hot, humid July evening. I was literally itching to leave at this point. She looked at me, imploring me to read the story. '"t’s historical fiction."

     I, like most Mormons, participate in genealogy and love history, so I acquiesced and told her I would read the novel. I took it home and never opened it. In the winter I returned to the desert and placed the paperback on a shelf, where it remained unopened. The following spring, my daughter and I both began to read Outlander and I even listened to it on a CD borrowed from the library. I was in for a surprise, led into a very sensual, well written story. The plot, subplots and scenes sometimes left me shaken. Many times I felt like I was alongside Claire in her harrowing adventures. 

     My daughter Marie later found out that a television series was in the works, more than just the movie that Pam had gushed about. I had so much to share with my Outlander-loving friend! I called Pam’s phone, left messages and also texted to tell her how exciting the book was, but never heard from her. I found it strange, but I knew she had a horse and was busy with grooming and riding, so when I returned to Michigan I knocked on Pam’s door. She didn’t answer. I tried a few days later. Still no answer. I found it strange that her dogs weren’t barking like they usually did whenever I knocked. Pam wasn’t one to hang out on Facebook, but when she didn’t even respond to the birthday wishes left on her timeline, I began to worry. I found out from a young lady later that month that Pam had suddenly moved away. She’d had terminal cancer and hadn’t told anyone except those closest to her. My friend was gone; taken from this earth. I was in a momentary state of shock. My mind was floating in a purgatory-like frame-of-mind, I had nobody that I could share the Outlander adventure with. 

     Later in August, the real adventure began. I was heart-sick that Pam couldn’t share in it. Producer Ron Moore and the STARZ Channel gave Outlander fans what they’d been waiting for, the series “Outlander,” an epic drama combining romance, history, science fiction and very realistic battle scenes. The cinematography and score are beautiful in their own right, braiding and knotting Diana Gabaldon’s stories into a beautiful, gripping saga. . .and there is controversy, at least among Americans. 

     The show is European in style and most of us in the USA are not used to nudity. Let me point out to those of you reading my blog, this is not pornography. It may be classified as erotica, but even then I personally would not call it that. The episodes feature nudity, but the love-making is between a husband and his wife. Without giving all plotlines away and spoiling the stories for potential viewers, the groom is a virgin man, a Catholic, who honors the virtue of womanhood. It is better explained in the novels, but he will not take advantage of a woman’s heart. There are a couple episodes dealing with rape and an honorable young man is tortured and sodomized by Black Jack Randall, the previously mentioned sadistic Redcoat. The poor lad is violated both body and soul. Former military nurse Claire is the only one who has 20th Century knowledge of how to heal his wounds, but how will she mend his soul? She confesses her plight to a robed man of God in a monastery that she and her Scottish rebels have taken shelter in. The monk gently listens to her tale of time travel and calls it a miracle. He urges her to bring the sexually abused Scottish warrior back to the light. I found this refreshing. Many times Christian beliefs are maligned in our modern media. 

     Bringing her beloved patient back to what is light and good and Holy prove to be a challenge as the lad has pledged his soul and body to the Redcoat devil, Black Jack. The victim’s God-father suggests that Claire may have to step into the darkness herself to bring the scarred and branded man back into the light. The poor youth’s mind is so broken from the cruel psychological games that he partially blames himself for being repeatedly violated by Black Jack. The Redcoat had already attempted to rape both the man’s sister Jenny and his beloved Claire. She struggles to bring the lad back to his senses and make him believe that none of this was his fault. 

     I will admit, although I am only part way through the book series and I just watched the last episode of the first season, there are times I just have to step away. Due to my own life experience and trauma, the last things I want to witness are violence, battles, blood and psycho-sexual torture; but I want to read the entire series. I’m also considering the companion books in the Lord John Grey Series. 

     As much as I love “Outlander” on STARZ I will warn you, my readers, this show is not for the faint of heart. It is rated for Mature Audiences. The scenes can be gory and heart wrenching. Seeing a man die after a boar hunt was perhaps the most heartbreaking episode in the first season for me, next to the scenes where Black Jack Randall takes a mallet to his current prisoner’s hand, delivering powerful, repeated blows meant to cripple the victim. There is full frontal nudity, both male and female. The sexual scenes, while not meant to arouse, may do just that. The aforementioned young couple is newly married and very much in love. I personally would have preferred a version that would leave more to the imagination. 

     The bottom line is author Diana Gabaldon has weaved a tale that, although it begins in Scotland and contains the supernatural, tells the story of why there was an American Revolution. The wild, freedom-loving Scots were denied their culture, their local government and the man they believed was king was replaced by a false king—George the Second. He was later succeeded by his grandson George the Third (the King of England during the American Revolutionary War). The Scots, many of whom were shipped to the American Colonies and then sold into indentured slavery following Culloden, were not about to live under tyranny again. 

     To me, the Outlander series tells the story of freedom and America. The show is igniting and reigniting people to think about what freedom means. It goes beyond fireworks and a weekend off work. It is the right to think and believe and survive without being compelled by a king or any government. It reminds us that we the people make and keep the laws, not a king or a few people in a central government. It means that the citizens will make their own informed decisions and rule themselves by the laws of God despite power-hungry politicians that believe they know better than free-minded individuals. 

     If the series encourages viewers to think about where their ancestors came from and what they ultimately fought for then that’s only the beginning. I hope that Ron Moore’s television series based on Diana Gabaldon’s book will never sanitize the horrors of war or become politically correct. History is history, something to learn from, a launching point to discuss political issues, not gloss them over. Romance and a little divine intervention are interwoven into this tale to make it sell, of course. In the meantime, I fully intend to enjoy the scenery. While I’m at it, I’ll have a Scotch on the rocks." 

#PamHill #Outlander #Starz




Sunday, March 29, 2026

My Secret Friend

     I will try to tell this story as plainly as I can. It is from my childhood.

     In the 1970s, when I was in grade school, I was bullied. Except for the friends that I could count on my fingers (right hand only) I was called names, beat by teachers, and struck many times a week by students. Some so-called friends actually joined in the bullying then came over to play when school was out. I was grateful for any little scrap of positive attention and I lived for summer.

     My parents were in a German Club in the Detroit area. Many times, my mother and our neighbor, Adelle, would help out at festivals. Other times my parents and their friends would go to region-wide parties as far away as Ontario. I really enjoyed myself at these celebrations.

     One festival, if I remember correctly, was at the Yack Arena in Wyandotte. If not, it was a similar venue somewhere in Michigan or Ontario. As usual, I’d sneak up to the balconies while my mother and the “Ladies Aid” participants would sort items, prepare dishes and do other tasks. I’d pretend to have friends and play up there, but one time, two children, a brother and a sister, were there with me! We sat on rolled up carpets and talked about popular music bands (the Archies' kind of music, The Guess Who or Partridge Family tunes).

     After a while the German band began to rehearse. The girl (I forgot her real name but I’ll call her Kaley) said, “My brother has a crush on you. He wants to dance.”  The boy was a little shorter than we were and I assumed he was younger than us two girls, but it turns out Kaley was actually his little sister. It was awkward at first, but we did a silly polka-kind of dance right there on the balcony, all three of us. After that we sat and played a little while longer. I thought the boy said his name was Keno. They were half Asian (which was uncommon in Detroit) and I remember telling them my sisters were half Japanese. I also said I would not forget his name because my mother’s favorite game when she went to Reno was Keno. (Yeah, the random thinking of my ADHD childhood brain.)

     We peered over the cinderblock balcony and watched the preparations. My mother and her friends, Adelle, Alice and Inga wore their pretty dirndls. Keno called the band an “OOMPAH” band and said the performers wore lederhosen. I had no idea that’s what the shorts were called, and I’d actually been to Germany. We talked about books. I think Kaley really liked to read like I did, but Keno talked about the cool books at school that were about little dogs that ate their owners when the owners died at home and nobody found them for days. He also talked about spontaneous combustion where someone suddenly catches on fire. I said, “You mean like they drop a cigarette while sleeping?”

     Keno said, “No, they just suddenly burst into flames!”

     I’d never heard of such things, but I sure read about it later that week before school let out. (Thank you Scholastic Books!)

     Some other time, Keno and I walked around what may have possibly been another venue. He pointed out bleachers that were pushed flat against a wall and not in use because people were setting up for the festivities. His mother was busy somewhere, I think, discussing costumes for some performers or dancers. He talked about how the floor usually didn’t have dancing and bands. It was used for hockey games and ice skating. I was amazed that ice could cover that floor, but he said so. Who was I to question? It was late by the time the festival was under way and I was sleepy. There were some actual seats pushed back behind the stage and I fell asleep. Keno was no longer around, yet somehow my parents found me tucked back there.

     The last time I remember seeing my friends, I was for sure in Canada. There was a big party out in the street in Kitchner or London, Ontario, I think. There were carnival rides, but I was only allowed to go on one or two. Tents were set up everywhere. There was an actual bakery. It wasn’t open, but the door was unlocked and we all went in and looked at the empty cases, dreaming of the sweet desserts that should have been there. We played for a short time, then they were gone.

     A couple years later, I was in junior high. I heard my class was going to get a new student. The name sounded like Reno or Kemo and I got all excited! I missed my friend so much and was ecstatic that he’d moved to Taylor, Michigan! I looked at the newcomer with expectation. In came a tall Indian boy, slouching and glowering. I realized this was not my summer companion and quickly dropped my smile. He was a foster kid and was moved somewhere else a few weeks later.

     Another twenty-plus years passed. By that time, in the mid- 90s, there was an actor that seemed so adorable. He was in several films that I’d seen. Despite the reality that I was married with children, I still had a little crush on this performer.

     It was around that time that I remember my oldest sister and my nieces Wendy and Valerie were visiting. My parents, husband and children were talking and relaxing. I had the latest copy of People Magazine in front of me. While we visited, I thumbed through the publication, mainly to give my hands something to do. I saw a cute little elementary era photo and recognized my dear old secret friend right away. I laughed at first and said, “I know this kid!” I skimmed the article, and learned later as I read it thoroughly, as well as another article, that this rising star was from Canada and played hockey. There was no doubt that it was him.

                                              My secret friend. Keanu Reeves.



                                          Childhood school photos of Keanu Reeves and Liesa Swejkoski




#KeanuReeves #Wyandotte #YackArena #GermaniaClubDownriver #Downriver #Detroit #Kitchener

Make Custom Gifts at CafePress